he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
