You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
