Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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