We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
