you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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