So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
