i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You need a sexual gate keeper
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
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