I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
