so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
no, he came in my armpit
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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