Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
