My balls are so social today.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
