My balls are so social today.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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