just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize