OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
