apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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