When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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