just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
