I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I have tasted many bathrooms
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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