Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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