Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
