what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
