hotel room ftw
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
