The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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