Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
