The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
