You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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