He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
