So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
