Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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