Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
