I accidentally burped into my bong.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
