I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
