My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
