What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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