someone threw a dead crab at me
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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