I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize