awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You are the jesus of drinking
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
