What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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