if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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