Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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