All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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