The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
