Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
