It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Rumble strips road head = magical
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
