some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
