why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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