So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Randomize
