Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Dignity is for republicans.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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