Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
