i think i have herpe
just one?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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