just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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