At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
