Apparently you make a good broom.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize