Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
