He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
