making cat noises will not fix the situation.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she told me i tasted like america
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
