hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
