Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
