I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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