So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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