you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
