so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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