I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
