My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
