yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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