the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
