I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
